A new year blog

No, not the typical "New Year's new me" rhetoric, I promise.

Every year, we celebrate the new year as a way to renew our hopes. We kick off with resolutions, plans, promises and godknowswhats!! And when they (often) fizzle out by March, we find ourselves looking forward to the next year for a fresh start.

And so, the cycle continues.

Reflecting on the past, I wasn’t quite ready for 2018 either—just as I am not for 2019. Due to strong medication, my memory of the first quarter of 2018 is pretty unclear. While the medication helped fill emotional voids, I’m not sure if it truly brought the happiness I was seeking. What I do remember is the relief I felt when those medications finally started working. That happiness, however, was traded for the fog that covered most of the rest of 2018.

2017 wasn’t a great year either, but having a child made it somewhat manageable. Still, it ended in chaos that I’m still trying to clean up. The good news is that the abuse ended in 2017—though not without a struggle and important lessons. I learned that male victims of domestic violence often face disbelief and lack of sympathy. You’re left with no choice but to “keep calm and carry on.”

To sound a bit more intelligent than I actually am, I dug into some statistics. According to the National Centre for Domestic Violence, 49% of male victims don’t tell anyone about their abuse, and many face false accusations as well. Defending oneself becomes even harder when suffering emotionally. And that was 2017 in a nutshell.

Then, like an uninvited guest, 2018 arrived—complaining, shouting, and sometimes leaving the toilet seat up or down. Yet, it also taught me something almost new: acceptance. Despite being called the most hazy and blurry year, 2018 turned out to be one of the most meaningful. It helped me discover true friends, broaden my perspective, and ultimately find myself.

2017 failed, and 2018 didn’t kill me either. But it did push me down whenever it could. Each time, I got back up, gave it a wink, and grew stronger with every fall. For all these reasons, 2018 deserves a heartfelt send-off.
Thank you, 2018, for all the experiences I never thought possible in 2017. Thank you for teaching me how to turn tears into smiles and pain into laughter—you were inarguably one of the best teachers I’ve ever had.

As the new year approaches, I wish happiness and health for everyone, including my ex, my friends, and my family—those who listened to my false stories and left me to fend for myself without verifying the facts. I also hope everyone who has wronged me is doing well.

To those I may have hurt in 2018, I sincerely apologize. I’ve learned the importance of forgiveness and moving forward without carrying the burdens of the past. I’ve let go and forgiven everyone. The scars—both physical and emotional—may remain, but now I have hope and something to look forward to.

To my religious friends, I wish you a blessed 2019. For everyone else, let’s raise a glass in farewell to 2018 and welcome 2019 with open arms—and maybe a drink or two, if you’re inclined!

Warm hugs!